Some sort of crisis!?

My title says it all. I think I may be in some sort of crisis. Seriously, these are emotional days for me, although I'm not actually crying as much as I feel I could. The last time I remember feeling this way, I had just turned 25. That's OLD you know! It doesn't help that Glenn has been gone for two weeks now. Just a couple more days...

It all started with our family vacation in May. A trip to Washington to spend time with my entire immediately family plus Glenn's parents. Despite the jet lag and sleep deprivation, it was great. Unfortunately the main conclusion I came away with was "I miss my sister!" We live so far away from each other that we play only a small role in each others' lives. We find it hard to keep tabs on each other because of our schedules. A 3-hour time difference and being mothers of young children (5 kids 5 and under) are the main factors. When my kids are finally in bed for the day, Carla is beginning the busy routine of supper. When her kids are finally in bed for the day, so am I! We occasionally chat over skype but it's mostly for the kids. They like to show each other toys and do silly things. And that's fun. It's neat to see how much they love/like each other despite having hardly spent any time together at all!

When we got back from vacation Glenn's bandmate Jeremy and his family came for a visit. Glenn and Jer took off overseas while Erin and I and our boys hung out. It was a great time of visiting and chatting and reconnecting too. The visit, like our visit in Washington, was too short. And it totally made me feel sad. Sad for my Tennessee friendships that are as hard for me to maintain as the one with my sister. Fortunately, they are the kind where you can pick up where you left off, if you know what I mean. The connection stays deep because of the depth to which you can relate.

But I think Erin's visit intensified the sadness I was feeling about my sister too.

My Mom's side of the family also took a tough blow recently when one of my mom's sisters passed away unexpectedly. My Aunt Mae was in a snowmobiling accident, needed an elbow replaced and had some cracked ribs but in a series of events, passed away weeks later. It's still so hard to believe. Did that really happen? I found it hard to hear my Mom and Aunt Audrey talking about it on the weekend. It's obvious they are still in shock and at a loss for my Aunt Mae.

Last Friday another one of my Aunts gave her kidney to her daughter. The procedure happened in Toronto so my Aunt and Uncle have been staying with my parents there. I actually got to see my Aunt and cousin barely 24 hours after surgery. That's just crazy! Things are going well. My Aunt is already out of hospital and last I heard, my cousin will be out shortly. But that definitely added to this emotional aspect of my life right now.

Also, I think visiting with so many family members last weekend that I don't usually see caused me to be more aware of the family relationships I miss. As children, we used to vacation with both Aunts I saw last weekend, and their families. Those were such fun times! I miss it.

And then there's Bram. He's 10 months old tomorrow and I just want him to STAY the way he is. He's just SO SWEET!

And finally, Jonah turned FIVE at the beginning of the month and he had his last day of Junior Kindergarten today. Five is such a different thing than zero to four. I knew this day would come. I 'get' young children. I feel like I don't know much about being a mother to a five-year-old. So, I ordered a friend's book and am anxiously awaiting it's instruction.

It's all adding up to equal sad.

Anyway, don't get me wrong. God is good. Life is great and I am so blessed and have so much to be thankful for. Did I mention that most of mine and Glenn's immediate families live within an hour of us? And we have good relationships with all of them? Yes, I even get along well with my mother-in-law!!! (If you know her, you're not surprised by that.) I've got friends and support and even a mentor. Between them all, I'm able to hold it together!