Methods of Killin' Me

I think I've reached the point where I can honestly say that I go for a walk most weekdays. Much of that walking time is spent observing my neighbors’ property. I really appreciate the work people put into their gardens and yards in my area. They are quite beautiful. Personally, I think I would enjoy having a garden, although I have to admit that my indoor gardening green thumb, which was once quite strong, took a bit of a nosedive once I had a baby.

Sometimes though, I find myself a little bit annoyed with some of my observations and I wonder, if I just vent my pet peeves here, will I then be able to put them behind me and just enjoy the beauty? I’m going to try to get them out of my system. I’m going to share my top 3 gardening pet peeves. If you are guilty of any of these, no hard feelings! And besides, I’m probably not walking in YOUR neighborhood!

The first gardening pet peeve I will call Send Me to the Guillotine! Please people, trim your trees back so that I, a SHORT person, can comfortably walk down your sidewalk. And while you’re at it, trim the hedge that is encroaching on my much-needed space for the side-by-side double stroller. In both of these situations, I have to stroll onto your much-loved grass. Haven’t you noticed that developing path of brown grass? Doesn’t that annoy you?

While the first gardening pet peeve is likely a case of neglect, pet peeves two and three are more likely a case of “overbearing parenting.” I will call the next one Bury Me Alive and it’s all about mulch. Mulch is a great thing and you can learn all about it here, but have you ever seen flowers that can barely be seen for the mulch crammed up to their necks? And full grown trees that have lost a foot or two of trunk?! I understand that you received more mulch than you intended to buy, and that it magically disappears about halfway through the season, but please, let your plants breathe! [And besides, didn’t you learn when tree-planting in high school that putting too much mulch around baby trees can actually increase the likelihood that they will be a victim of death by mouse gnaw?]

Finally, perhaps the most annoying I will call Trap me in the Trench! Some very-well-intentioned people attempt to keep their grass off the sidewalk. Don’t get me wrong, this IS generally a good thing. After all, neglecting the sidewalk is a pet peeve that didn’t quite make my top 3 list. But some people really go overboard, digging a rather large trench. Remember I’m pushing a stroller full of a good 60 pounds worth of children. Use your imagination here. There I am, trotting along (or barely making it up the hill as the case may be) when suddenly the stroller comes to a jolting halt. “Sorry boys, chat amongst yourselves while I attempt to dig our way out of here!”

If you see us in your trench, thank you for having the decency to help us out!